Why I Heart NY

Oh New York, it is so hard to leave you. After 15 years together, I’m still as giddy as a school girl when someone mentions your name. You’d think after all this time I would just be sick of you.

where else do your bad photos just look like you're avoiding the paparazzi?

where else do your bad photos just look like you’re avoiding the paparazzi?

Well…to be honest…I was sick of you for a bit. When you are lucky enough to live in what you consider your favorite place on the planet, it does not change the fact that you live there.

but at least Dr. Norman makes the dentist visits fun

but at least Dr. Norman makes the dentist visits fun

Life has certain inescapable daily responsibilities: work, appointments, errands, children, etc. So when you move in down the street from some gorgeous museum or fantastic restaurant and you think, ‘I will go there every week,’ it says something when you realize you have been to said museum/restaurant once, if at all, in the past several years.

I'm talking to you Pearl Oyster Bar...15 years and I still haven't had the chance to visit you.  pearloysterbar.com

I’m talking to you Pearl Oyster Bar…15 years and I still haven’t had the chance to visit you. pearloysterbar.com

When you realize all you really do at the end of a day is lie down on the floor exhausted while you eat the left over Chinese food you lazily ordered the night before, you begin to feel as though you might appreciate that beautiful museum and fantastic restaurant more if you could just come to visit New York City one day.

wouldn't it be fun to go to New York and ride the subway?

wouldn’t it be fun to go to New York and ride the subway?

Absence does make the heart grow fonder, New York, and now that you have been set in relief for the last 3 months I can take this opportunity to romanticize the idea of you again.

our friend T's fully stocked bar helped also...

our friend T’s fully stocked bar helped the romanticizing process begin…

But what I discovered during this week long visit to NYC was something very different than what I had expected to find. Yes, I miss Fairway (a dream of a grocery store, if they would just let me live in a storage closet there, I would leave my family to do so), I miss a good plop down in Sheep Meadow with the Sunday Times (although, I’ve missed that since G was born), and yes, I even miss the potentially frustrating hustley bustley way of life.

why can I not find a cab?  why are there just no cabs?

why can I not find a cab? it’s my hairdo isn’t it?

But what I miss the most are our people, our fabulous friends who we have known for years, who we’ve watched grow and change, who have cheered for us when we’ve reached

who else but n'Uncle Peter is going to lend you the very same Yankees jacket he wore when he was 5?

who else but n’Uncle Peter is going to lend you the very same Yankees jacket he wore when he was 5?

huge milestones, and who have scooped us up when we’ve hit dicier times.  Modern technology does provide the reassurance   our nearest and dearest are always a click or two away, but it’s really no substitute for that spontaneous coffee or that walk around the block when you just need someone’s ear or they need yours.  You know what I’m talking about.

So, when we went to New York City for just one week we planned all sorts of touristy adventures, but instead we ditched all those plans and broke bread every day with people we love.  That is what makes it hard to leave you New York. I’m sure Sydney has its charms, but I know it does not have our people.

The next post contains all the photos of dinner with friends and will be password protected by order of the Queen to protect the innocent…or something like that.  If you forgot the password you can use the form below to email me.  There are some goodies in there.

Saint Martin

We came down to St. Martin for a vacation. We don’t go on “vacation” vacations. Michael and I are very similar in our tastes and we’d always much rather explore a place for its culture, food or history, rather than just plop down on a beach somewhere.

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But our life currently feels like a constant vacation and from that we needed a vacation. There is something to be said for the all inclusive resort tucked away on a Caribbean Island.  It’s not our style (for reasons I will spare you from), but in the end we all decompressed with no internet, phones, or errands…just a pool, a beach, an ocean, a book.

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St. Martin is in the Caribbean, it’s half Dutch and half French and that was all I learned about it. There was also this spider.  G checked on him twice a day to be sure he was alright.

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The whole week Michael kept asking me if I was ok, he said I had a look on my face he wasn’t used to seeing and it concerned him. We finally decided it was just how I looked when I was relaxed.

Our next stop was New York City.

The Sunshine State

We explored nothing in Florida. Not one thing. We saw family, we warmed up, we swam. Below are a few things we found beautiful:

Our next stop was St. Martin

The Nurse Maid

My father and stepmother have a dog named Tatiana, otherwise known as TaTa or Totty, but ever since G was born she has been known as the Nurse Maid.

so proud

So proud.

One of the first times I brought G down to her house, he still had some sleep issues and would sometimes cry himself to sleep at nap time. I put him in a pac-n-play on the enclosed patio so he could nap in the cool breeze. I was tucked just inside, out of his sight, but he was not out of my earshot.

i'm watching

‘I’m watching.’

Tatiana was completely unimpressed with my behavior. She went out onto the patio and circled the pac-n-play, clearly in distress. She barked and howled to get my attention as if to say…

‘UM HELLLOOOOOO!!!! Your child is clearly suffering out here while you’re what? Watching Oprah??’

Then she’d come inside and bark in my face. ‘Your. child. is. crying.’

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‘As if he could ride a bicycle with just these two for guidance.’

When G visited this time, nothing had changed. Totty slept outside the guest room door to protect him from would be predators…clearly she assumed I was not up for the task. The moment he woke up in the morning we would hear the click click click of her nails on the hard Spanish tile, coupled with her eager panting that said, ‘Move over lady—I’ve got this.’

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‘Hello—this is a glass table here people.’

When I took G out to the playground, apparently without her permission, I returned to quite an earful. She gave me a little nip on the hand that said, “Next time you take him somewhere, just ask me first…or better yet, take me along.”

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‘They’re letting him drink out of a coconut? Not on my watch.’

So it was no surprise to us when we were mulling over photos of G at his grandpa’s house that Totty was in practically EVERY shot, lingering in the background just to make sure no child labor laws were broken.

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‘Who’s going to keep him from falling into the pool? This lady? I don’t think so.’

Gone With the Wind

There is something to be said for the sheltered upbringing offered by a quiet, American suburb during the late 1980s/early 1990s. It was a life of safety and comfort, where anything and everything seemed possible if you just put your mind to it.  Bad things always happened to someone else, somewhere else and there was no internet or 24 hour news cycle to remind me otherwise. I just tossed my parent’s weekly TIME magazine along with life’s other questionable areas unexamined and unexplained into the junk drawer of my childhood.

newurbanarchitect.com

newurbanarchitect.com

I want to raise my son the same way.  Of course, the difficult aspect of this kind of upbringing is the shock you can experience when you begin to understand the more brutal reality of the world. It can unmoor your foundation, the very way you organized your understanding of things. Some might say this is simply the process of growing up. And that is true, to a certain degree. Lost idealism is a byproduct of aging of course.

This would be the moment when my almost 3 year old son would say, “Ecuse me MaMa. Why you talking about?”

“Well sweetie, when we were in Charleston I took you to visit the Magnolia Plantation and Gardens, and while its trees and flowers are very beautiful to look at, I can’t stop thinking about how to explain to you what happened at these old plantation houses that makes them important.”

“Oh.”

Azaleas and Live Oaks Magnolia Plantation South Carolina

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There is a story in my family about my great (or great great?) grandparents on my mother’s side I just can’t seem to shake out of my head lately. At some point in his life, my great grandfather made an untold amount of money in the slave trade. I’m not sure if he was in a sort of Jean Valjean position where he NEEDED that money to survive, or if he just saw it as a way to make some extra money.

When my great grandmother found out what he did (because let’s face it ladies, we always do) she was beside herself. They (or their parents?) had come to this country to make a better life. How could he then make money off the backs of people who almost certainly did not come here for a better life, but were instead forced to come here for a life of servitude and subordination?

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magnoliaplantation.com

Well, we all tell ourselves whatever we need to tell ourselves in order to sleep at night. It’s part of human nature. Every time I turn on my iPad I think for a second about how and where it was made, what the lives of people are like in places where forced labor is the only way of life. But I turn it on anyway, in fact, I just lied, I don’t think about it every time I turn on my iPad, that’s just how much I’ve convinced myself I do.

Maybe my great grandfather thought, ‘Well, if I don’t do it, someone else will. It might as well be me who makes that money and uses it for my family.’ And that is not an illogical argument, it is not an untruth. It is a skill we as humans have to ensure our survival. In order to survive in the wilderness, any type of wilderness, we might have to step on one of our own. We can if we have the innate ability to rationalize our behavior. It’s an uncomfortable reality of life, of nature. But I wonder, if this tool humans have, this innate ability, is supposed to be utilized for survival or once you have enough to survive is it supposed to be used to enable the individual and those closest to him the ability to thrive?

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The entrance to the Magnolia Estate circa mid 1800s
magnoliaplantation.com

Some say yes, especially in this day and age, again…if you don’t, somebody else will.  But my great grandmother didn’t seem think so. When she found out what her husband did she instead put her own security at risk.  She made her husband make their home in Ohio part of the underground railroad. And he did. It was a crime punishable by a government who had not yet amended its Constitution. The barn of their house was one of many stops along the complex, word of mouth path to freedom for escaped slaves…it was also a path for dangerous bounty hunters and Federal Marshals.

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G just inside the entrance to the Magnolia Estate 2013

I love this story.  I want to teach my son to be brave like his great great (or great great great) grandmother, to move forward in life with unquestionable dignity and unwavering integrity.  The paradox of parenting, however, is I also want him to survive…and thrive.  I don’t want bounty hunters to ever come along his path.  So while I grapple with this, I suppose I’ll find a place to start G’s junk drawer.

Our next stop was Florida.

Eat Up Charleston

So of course, Emily, our foodie friend, once again bestowed a list on us for treats to be sure to get into your belly if you ever find yourself down in Charleston.  FAIR WARNING:  Nothing is low calorie here.  Nothing.  Not one thing.  So good luck with that.
oysters at The Ordinary

oysters at The Ordinary

See Emily’s words below with a few of my notes in bold:

Husk – Famous chef (Sean Brock) who is using nothing but local ingredients, right down to the chocolate and flour… He had a huge profile piece in the New Yorker. It’s the place to go in Charleston. Go there for lunch, brunch or dinner.  It’s in an old Victorian home in the historic district and is utterly charming. And the food is delicious.

Of course I took for granted that it is the best place in town and was never able to get a table.  Meow.

Cypress – Where Husk is old school, this place is modern. Very cool restaurant conveniently located in town. I recommend getting the patty melt. It’s a burger sandwich type thing that’s totally addictive. Oh my goodness so good. Rich and filling. Best to share. Of course there are a hundred other things on the menu that are winners too.

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she wasn’t lying!

WildFlour Pastry for sticky buns on Sundays! They are out of control. Go early, people literally line up for them. The woman who runs this place, Lauren Mitterer, is awesome and usually covered in flour and butter.  It’s tiny and they have yummy pastries and pot de crèmes, key lime pies, but the sticky buns – on Sundays only — are to die for.

You could actually die from them if you had one every Sunday.  But boy oh boy are they good.   

Sugar Bakeshop– charming, wonderful wonderful bakery for cookies, cupcakes, etc. Even little mini bite-size tarts that are fantastic. Everything inside this tiny space feels like you’ve stepped back in time. From the glass cookie jars to the old apothecary cases filled with treats. In a residential neighborhood, run by two fun guys (an architect from NY and his partner who is originally from Charleston).

Hominy Grill – fantastic place (near Sugar Bakeshop) for all that southern food – shrimp, grits, amazing biscuits, etc. It’s a lovely fun place to go for breakfast or lunch. Yum!

Are you kidding?  Tomato pudding.  That’s all I need to say, plus they are really kid friendly.

Peninsula Grill for a slice of Coconut Cake. They are famous famous famous for their utterly decadent Coconut Cake. And if you are downtown, it’s walking distance from everywhere.

If you are looking for old school cocktails (read: they take 5-10 minutes to concoct your cocktail, right down to the perfect ice cube) try the Gin Joint. On the same street as Cypress.

If you have time and a car, try heading out to Bowens Island (they open at 5pm) for the ultimate seafood shack experience. Super fun!

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The Ordinary under a full moon.

NOOOO!!!  They are closed on Sundays so we missed this spot too.  It’s well worth planning ahead when you dine out in this town, it’s small so places fill up fast.  

But not to be defeated we found a new spot called The Ordinary where we indulged in all kinds of expertly prepared seafood and fresh oysters.  The space opened in 2012 and is in my favorite phase of a restaurant—the extra hospitable phase.  

The beautiful, open space was full so we sat at the oyster bar where you can see inside the kitchen to watch the chef and staff at work, a very methodic ballet.  

Chef Mike Lata spotted G at the bar and asked us if he’d like a little something special which his young son enjoys.  He brought out amazing, smokey baked beans and mashed potatoes you could frost a cake with.  It was a terrific experience.

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The chef sending G out in a mashed potato induced coma.

This is the South

We spent our time in Charlotte, North Carolina in constant deliberation as to whether or not we should take G to Urgent Care for a persistent, week long fever of 104 (!!!).  BUT—we were able to visit a playground to see this ladybug…

IMG_0075the Discovery Place to see this octopus…

IMG_0181and Michael was even able to get this killer shot of G while he peeked into a mini aquarium…

IMG_0172Sorry Charlotte. That’s all we had time for.  We hear you have a lovely NASCAR museum. Maybe next time.

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A drinking fountain in the historic battery

But then we were off to Charleston, South Carolina (where of course I got sick—but are Moms really allowed to be sick? No…not really).

Charleston. Oh Charleston. Of all the towns we’ve visited in the United States, Charleston has thrilled me the most. This is not just because I am sort of an old fogey who signs her name like she just signed the Declaration of Independence, but because it took me by surprise. I paid attention to boys in high school when I should have paid attention to my history teacher, so I was shocked to learn that Charleston is steeped not only in Civil War history, but in Revolutionary War history as well. It rivals Boston, New Orleans and even New York City for its beautifully preserved, historic architecture.

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Rainbow Row-a section of restored homes

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I tried to convince M to forget about us and instead to focus on the tiny alley behind us.  It was once an original street

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When you walk down these alleyways you find hidden, perfectly preserved houses from the 1700s.

I wish I had the time to write a fully detailed post about the many incredible sights, but alas…not only do I not, we also didn’t have the opportunity to explore nearly as much as we would have liked. It is definitely a spot Michael and I decided we would visit for a long weekend again one day when we can take the proper tourist horse and buggy ride.

Of course, not only is Charleston full to the brim with history, it is also full of incredible food…most of it sweet.  In fact, one hot afternoon I ordered mint iced tea from a man who asked if I wanted sweetened or unsweetened.

‘How sweet is sweet?’  I asked.

‘This is the south,’ he said.

The Wrong Direction

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In addition to visiting the Home of Ralphy while we were in Cleveland, we also made it to the Great Lakes Science Center (and had a fabulous dinner with my Great Aunt, her son and his wife at The Greenhouse Tavern).

The Science Center holds many a joy for the young at heart, including a room full of rubber balls Michael was able to snap a few existential shots of:

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There was also an Egyptian exhibit, replete with mysterious activities such as Archeological Digs…

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Pyramid Building…

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and faux Camel Back Riding…

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And while I love the above photo almost more than life itself, you can imagine my surprise (horror/dismay) when my One Direction obsessed girlfriend sent me a photo of the One Direction bandmate doll someone just gave her 7 year old daughter.

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Now who gave this kid a copy of Ines de la Fressange‘s Parisian Chic?  Fess up!

Next we hit The Carolinas…

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