The plunge of temerity went like this:

Hey…I’ll stand on the couch next to my mom.

Then I’ll slowly place all the pillows from the couch on the floor next to the coffee table.

Then, at the exact second no one is looking, I’ll toss myself on top of them.

On my way down, I’ll hit my head incredibly hard on the coffee table.

I’ll go to the emergency room in San Francisco closest to the Tenderloin and get 3 stitches.

Then when I get home, I’ll try to do it again because I’m 2 and a half.